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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25169482">this is stupid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfire/pseuds/halfire'>halfire</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Not Epilogue Compliant, Post Game, Snippets, hal gets a human body</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:53:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>413</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25169482</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfire/pseuds/halfire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk is a whole ass foot taller than you and you hate this.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Auto-Responder | Lil Hal &amp; Roxy Lalonde</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>this is stupid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>au where some time after the game hal wakes up on earth c as a human being and has like five hundred problems with that fact.</p><p>this is top tier stupid but i kinda wanna write more of these because they're just short which means writing them doesn't fill me with dread and they're stupid which means i have fun but we'll s33 if i can stick to that lmaoooo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="pesterlog">FLESHY HUMAN BOY HAL ==&gt; MEET DIRK STRIDER IN THE FLESH FOR THE FIRST TIME</p><p>You are 13. Your hair is a stark white and even though you came into this world bearing Dirk's god awful pointy anime shades, you've managed to replace them with something else. Temporarily. You mean you've stolen a pair of Roxy's new shades and they don't really fit your vibe at all but it's better than the triangles.</p><p>Additionally, you are 5'1. You wouldn't really consider this all that important but as you see Dirk in the distance you think actually it might be like, <em>super</em> important? Like really very important.</p><p>Dirk is...</p><p>Tall. He towers over you, taking in the sight of you with a raised eyebrow. You stare up at him with, you're sure, a look of pure dumbfoundment.</p><p>You take a step away from Dirk, and over to Roxy.</p><p class="dave">HAL: (roxy.)</p><p class="dave">HAL: (hey roxy. psst.)</p><p class="dave">HAL: (psst. roxy.)</p><p class="roxy">ROXY: (wassup lil man?)</p><p class="dave">HAL: (why is dirk six feet tall???)</p><p class="roxy">ROXY: (oh shit lmao yeah)</p><p class="roxy">ROXY: (u were gone b4 dstri shot up like a bean sprout...............)</p><p class="roxy">ROXY: (post game he grew like a foot and got even beefier than he was before.)</p><p class="dave">HAL: (how the fuck.)</p><p class="roxy">ROXY: (speculation says majyyk game shenanigans and/or pure will to not be the second smallest lil bitch in the group)</p><p class="dave">HAL: (what the fuck.)</p><p class="roxy">ROXY: (yeahhh its wild lmao)</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p class="pesterlog">SQUISHY HUMAN BOY HAL ==&gt; WAIT FOUR YEARS</p><p>Alright it's four years later. You're 17. (That's weird.) (You've been human longer than you were an AI.) (What the fuck?)</p><p>You've dyed your hair black for about 3.5 years, cutting off bits and chunks when you feel like you look too much like Dirk. You returned Roxy's sunglasses and you have a pair of your own now. (They're black and red and round and kind of have mothman vibes. Which is fine with you.)</p><p>Additionally, you are 5'2. It's been four years and you've grown approximately one inch, which is bullshit, but also kind of makes sense. (Mostly it's bullshit.)</p><p>You sidle up to Roxy where she sits at the dinner table.</p><p class="dave">HAL: Roxy.</p><p class="roxy">ROXY: sup</p><p class="dave">HAL: Do you think I'm going to be 5'2 forever.</p><p>Roxy frowns, her gaze moving back to her phone for just a moment before looking at you. You plop yourself down into the chair next to her.</p><p class="roxy">ROXY: maybe :(</p><p class="dave">HAL: ...</p><p>You put your head in your hands. You were expecting this but it still sucks.</p>
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